Do You Swear?

Do you swear?
To tell the truth
The whole truth
Nothing but the truth
So help you god

Our first leader
George Washington
Chopped down a cherry tree
And when he was asked
He couldn't tell a lie
He said he did it
I am supposed to use that as an example
Of a great leader's character
To never tell a lie
Yet he chopped down the cherry tree
A source of food
For no reason

No reason was ever given
Just that he couldn't lie
So he admitted doing it
Why?
He didn't like cherries?
What's not to like about cherries?
I think it was the first sign of aggression
He let it out by attacking the environment
He just didn't lie about it

Now when out modern leaders
Do their version of chopping down the cherry tree
They just lie
People know they chopped down the cherry tree

Out modern leaders respond
There was never a tree there

It's established there was a tree
They knew nothing about it

They then give their possible scenarios
The tree must have fallen over by itself
Maybe due to a powerful wind

When evidence of wood chips are found
Where the tree used to be
They respond
We have to do something about those pesky beavers

They are informed that all the beavers have died
Suddenly a boy scout is arrested
Said to have been on drugs
Searching his room
It is reported he listened to music about Satan

Notes were found, scribbled
On hundreds of girl-scout cookie boxes
From the girl-scout who sold him the cookies

The notes were
Rejections of his pleas
For her to be his cookie

It is reported we have caught
The Terrorist

After hearing this on the news
I am supposed to feel relieved
The problem has been solved
The guilty have been caught
And will be punished

The next day
Another tree is found missing

Do you swear?
To tell the truth
The whole truth
Nothing but the truth
So help you god


-Paul Richmond
From "...Ready or Not - Living in the Break Down Lane"